A life well lived

P P Appukuttan

"Everyone looks upto someone for inspiration in life,he was one for me"

It was morning 5.30 am, I opened my eyes to see a black bird sitting on top of sun roof in my 5^th floor apartment in Germany. It’s called as the blackbird and found in plenty during the spring season in Germany. I saw the yellow eyes of the bird; it chirped something to me and flew away. I knew something bad was to happen .I have been living in this apartment for one and a half month but never before seen a black bird sitting on my sunroof. The first thought that came to my mind was of my uncle Mr Appukuttan who was ailing with cancer. I tried to calm down myself and told myself not to think anything negative. He was diagnosed with cancer for almost 5 months now. I had last seen him in January and travelled to Germany with a fear that I might not meet him again. At night I got a call from my brother informing me of passing way of my uncle. I understood why the black bird had come early morning. Even though I am generally rational in my thinking, I felt the black bird had come to me to say good bye. My uncle was very dear to me and we loved each others company. He parted saying a final good bye to me in Germany in form of a black bird.

My uncle was a charted accountant by education. Before taking an early retirement he worked with MRF tires in Chennai. I always looked forward to visiting him in Kerala. He was a book lover and had thirst for knowledge. His mornings would start with reading the Hindu and Malayalam newspapers. His favorite magazines were Readers digest , National Geographic, Time & the Economist. His house was full of books. He would preserve all the books that he had read. He loved sharing the vast knowledge he had and was very happy to share books with people who were interested to read. He encouraged me to read as he believed people with knowledge are always respected anywhere in the world. He could quote from Bible, Gita, Quran and the Vedas. He loved discussing the plays of Shakespare, world war, world history, science,economics and politics.Encouraged me to learn the human physology, as it would help me to understand why people behave the way they do. Based on his advice I started reading newspapers and good books. This habit of reading has tremendously helped me and I am thankful to him for that. Other than this he was a nature lover. He lived amidst rubber plantations and had very good knowledge of flora and fauna. He always objected to people cutting trees and killing wild animals.

I was baptized by him and he always  used to tell me that he had a fatherly right on me. He encouraged me and others to reach their full potential in life. He believed in being honest and asked us to never compromise on integrity. He was very happy if I achieved something in life and would proudly tell of my achievements to others. My first English bible was gifted to me by him.I still have it with me and carry it with me where ever I go.Whenever I felt low in life I would call him up and would feel better. He would share some inspiring quotes when I was low. I would mention some of my personal favorites which he shared with me.

                         I am hurt, but I am not slain;

                         I will lie down and bleed avail,

                         Then I will get up and fight again.

Winston Churchill was one of his favorite leaders  he loved talking about him. He told me Winston Churchill had a quote displayed in his room which went like this

“To reign in Hell is better than to be a slave in heaven”-Milton

“Never never give up”-Winston Churchill

He encouraged children to learn swimming, cycling, driving, climbing tress and other life skills. As per him knowing the important life skills would help one to be confident in life. I would visit Kerala only because it gave me opportunity to talk to him. I just loved talking to him and getting new insights from him. I like jackfruit a lot which he knew.Every time I visited him he would arrange one for me. Both of us will sit together and eat it discussing various world affairs. Last year I resigned from Mahindra and I had an education bond of 3 lacs with the company. But somehow the concerned people missed the point that I had to pay 3 Lakh rupees before being relieved from the company. I had already made up my mind to pay the amount. But nobody asked me to make a payment. But I was feeing very uncomfortable to leave without paying the amount to Mahindra. I owe a lot to Mahindra .I was feeling it would be wrong on my part not to  mention about the bond to the company. I called up my mother and uncle. They both advised me to bring to the companies notice that I had a due of 3 lacs rupees with the company. My uncle told me that money can be made anytime in life, but one should never compromise on honesty. I took his advice and brought it to the notice concerned person. Paid due of Rs 3 lacs hours before being relieved. Being honest might be a lose in short run but looking back after a year I have gained much more than what I had lost. Above all I can live my life with clear conscience.

As I type this his funeral is on in Kerala. Last three days it have been very difficult for me and being alone away from India hasn’t helped. He told me one of his final wishes was that all the knowledge he had must be recorded. Unfortunately it couldn’t happen. My Final good bye to my lovely uncle I will miss you, but you will always be in our memory. If given a chance he would be one person I would like to meet again.

The black bird which passed on his good bye to me

Blackbird singing in the dead of night,

                                                 Take these broken wings and learn to fly
                                                                    All your life,
                                          You were only waiting for this moment to arise

A track from Beatles